


can’t risk falling off my throne

by kontraklarinette



Category: The Owl House (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Internalized Homophobia, Lumity, POV First Person, Pining, amity’s pov, but the basic outline of the story is still there, i know this has probably been done before but I wanted to take a stab at it, takes place over multiple episodes, this ended up being a lot less based on the animatic than i expected
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-28
Updated: 2020-08-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:29:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26151157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kontraklarinette/pseuds/kontraklarinette
Summary: But then... maybe some things are worth falling for.Inspired by thatonedorkwhodraw’s Little Miss Perfect animatic
Relationships: Amity Blight/Luz Noceda
Comments: 16
Kudos: 234





	1. my heart gives a flutter

**Author's Note:**

> i told my mom i was going to bed early so i could work on my novel. she’d be so disappointed to know what i was actually doing lol

_ Dear Diary, _

_ You know what, never mind. That’s a stupid name. I’m fourteen, not four. I’m old enough to call this dumb book something more mature. But “Dear Journal” just doesn’t have the same ring to it. Dear Book of Secrets? Well, I guess they’re not really secrets if your annoying siblings always read them the second your back is turned. Can you keep a secret between three people? Probably not. Especially if it’s those two. _

_ How about Dear Amity Blight’s Great Big Overly Emotional Feelings Dump? I bet Edric and Emira won’t even make it past that many words.  _

_ Okay, perfect. Let’s try again. _

_ Dear Amity Blight’s Great Big Overly Emotional Feelings Dump, _

_ The human is still at school. Isn’t that strange? Thinking she’s cut out for this… she won’t even last the month. I know I wrote last week that she wouldn’t even last the week, but she did, so now she’s got a month before my deadly good intuition gets her. What do you think it’ll be? Detention? Her own abomination? One of her killer plants? Okay, maybe her plants aren’t killers (remember when I could hear one of them from the next classroom over serenading the plant track professor?) But give it time. Give it time.  _

_ It feels sort of weird being friends with her. Ever since she saved us all back there in the snow, things have been different. What even was that all about? An ice spell? In the already pneumonia-inducing mountains? How in the world did she think that ever would have worked? _

_ Well, however she did it, she did it. I’ll need to accept that eventually. I owe a lot to her. She’s more talented than she lets on. She may be a human, but she’s not half-bad with magic… and I think she might have put some other weird spell on me at some point. I think she did something strange to me while we were fighting Inner Willow the other day. It might have been on accident, but ever since then, I’ve felt strangely nauseous when she’s around, and…  _

I heave a groan and let my head fall forward on my desk. My forehead presses into the journal paper as I claw at the corners of the page. Am I going to have black ink smeared all over my forehead now? Great. It’ll be another thing to have to clean up before I go to school. 

I lift my head and scan the page of the journal I was writing on. 

A spell? Really? I’m trying to convince myself that Luz  _ cursed  _ me now? That’s a lame excuse, even for me. 

It’s hopeless. I’m gonna be stuck with this stupid cr- actually, no. I don’t think I’m ready for the c-word yet. Maybe I’ll get there, but for now I’ll just stick with…  _ longing. _ I’m stuck with this stupid  _ longing _ forever. Yeah, that works- it’s more poetic, and besides, you can  _ long  _ for anything. You can long for a straight-As. You can long to be captain of your school’s Grudgby team. You can even long for a friend. I’ve only got two of those things, and as far as I’m concerned, my  _ longing  _ is directed toward the third.

I mean, I’m not the team captain anymore, technically. Like all good things, my era of power ended with the first semester, and now I’m in charge of handing the title of Freshwitch Grudgby Team Captain over to someone else. The season starts the Monday after Grom, so assuming I’m still alive by then, I can pick the new captain… let’s see, who would murder me in cold blood if she wasn’t chosen? That would be Boscha, Boscha, and Boscha. 

So I’m not the team captain anymore. Big deal. There are other things out there for me to do.

But, as I hear my front door swing open behind me and hit the wall, I wince and remember I might not actually have those straight-As I bragged about earlier either. Haha. Might have told a little lie. Whoops. 

“Amity Blight!” my father roars.

Oh boy.

I stand up and push my chair in to my desk as politely as I can, then turn toward him and dip my head slightly. “Hello, Father,” I greet him levelly. No voice cracks, no tremors. That’s how we do it in the Blight house. The trick is to not show any emotion. Total coldness. Maybe if he thinks I’m completely frozen, he'll think I’ll be harder to burn.

My father clearly has no intention of returning my hello. “What’s this?” he roars, and stomps to my side. I wish he weren’t so much taller than me. Maybe someday I’d have a chance of standing up to him if it weren’t so obvious that he’d win in a wrestling match.

I eye him for a moment, unsure what he wants me to say. “That’s your scroll.”

“More specifically,” Father growls, shoving the scroll so close to my face that I can’t even see it, “it’s the  _ PowerScroll  _ website.’

“Right,” I say. “Where you get all my grades?” 

“Don’t play dumb with me, Miss Amity.” Father withdraws the scroll and clicks a box next to the name of my Abominations professor. A huge letter shows up on the screen next to percentage, but that letter is not an A and the percentage is no less and no more than 87%.

My stomach drops. I’d hoped maybe Father had rampaged in here intending to yell at me about something else. Something with a little less… incriminating evidence. Like who out of my two siblings and I had spilled my mom’s age-reduction elixir all over the carpet last night. (It was Edric, by the way.) 

Truthfully, I hadn’t really expected Father to notice the B. The twins usually got away with much worse… 

“Do you want to explain to me why the score in your best class- the class you’re  _ on track for-  _ has dropped so low?” he snaps.

_ Don’t look down. Don’t look down. Don’t look down. _ “I don’t know.”

“Really? Because I might have a small smidgeon of an idea.” Father leans down until his gross batwing-coffee breath is right next to my ear. “That’s the class you’re taking with that human, isn’t it? The one you’ve...  _ befriended? _ ”

“I do have abominations class with Luz, yes.”

_ “Luz.” _ My father spits her name like it’s a curse. “I see that good-for-nothing human girl is proving to be a distraction. Don’t go near her, you hear? Stick with Boscha and Skara. They’re good, high-ranking girls.  _ They’ll  _ be good influences on you.”

_ They're not good influences!  _ I long to scream.  _ They’ve ruined my social life! They stole Willow from me- I won’t let them steal Luz, too! _

Father takes a few steps towards my door. “Don’t think you could hide that grade from me forever. If it’s not back up to a 95 by Grom day, I’ll inform Lillith of your slacking scores  _ and  _ I’ll see you off the Grudgby team. Let the human girl distract you more and the consequences could be far graver.” His eyes flash once with a trace of steely malice before he ducks his head out the door and disappears down the long, dark hallway.

A shiver runs down my spine.

I’ll never be perfect enough for him.

~

Sometimes I wonder if I’m adopted. It makes a lot of sense when you think about it- my hair is naturally brown, not forest green like my siblings and my parents, and it’s not naturally curly, like my sister’s or my mom’s. The only physical trait I have in common with my family is my golden eyes. People often tell me that golden eyes are beautiful, but sometimes I wish my eyes were a plainer and more nondescript color, like brown. I think brown eyes look really nice, like pools of melted chocolate, and brown eyes always look so kind. Maybe if I had kinder eyes people wouldn’t be so intimidated by me.

I’m noticing that again today as I make my way to my locker before first period starts. My eyes are still tired from waking up early, but I’m on full alert, watching and observing people around me. It’s the same as always- they see me coming, they stare, I get closer, they look away. Rinse and repeat. And it’s not just people in my grade who do this, either. The upperclasswitches look away from me just as much as the other freshies do.

This morning, there’s a small crowd gathered by my locker. Sweet Emperor, what does Boscha want now? Is she planning a slash mob or something to ask for the Grudgby captain’s spot? I’ll give it to her gladly if it just means I can get out of it. 

As I get closer, I realize that it’s definitely not a slash mob. Boscha’s in the middle of the crowd (unsurprisingly), but there’s someone else standing next to her. No, not standing.  _ Cowering _ . Just like I cowered from my father just before I left. I suppress a snort of contempt.  _ I can never act like that in front of him again. _

The crowd parts for me, and shoulder my way to the center of the semicircle so I get a much better view of what’s going on. Boscha’s eyes meet mine when she sees me. “Amity,” she crows. “Look who it is.”

Normally, when Boscha does this (which is more often than I’m proud of) I wave the victim off with a warning and mutter something halfheartedly about Boscha being obnoxious and horrible. But this morning, there’s no mistaking the green curls and round glasses of the girl whos’ pressing herself up against the growling locker like she’s trying to disappear inside. It’s Willow. Luz’s best friend, and the girl whose memories I single handedly saved all by myself. 

A rush of adrenaline courses through me. I have to help her.

“What do you think you’re  _ doing?” _ I screech. I rush towards Boscha and grip the front of her t-shirt neck with a fist. Boscha protests weakly, but her helpless struggles are hampered by the shock of seeing me  _ finally  _ not be on her side. “Get out of here,” I snap to Willow. Willow whimpers and ducks away, and I turn my attention back to Boscha.

“I was just telling her what a  _ wonderful  _ plant monster she’s got this morning,” Boscha says sweetly. “Really brings out the hideous in her complexion. You didn’t have to send her away, you know. You could have joined in.”

“Like I’d want to!” My grip on her collar tightens. 

Boscha squirms again. “Fine, fine,” she whines. “I’ll stop. Just let me go.”

I loosen my fist just a bit, keeping it just tight enough that she still can’t wiggle away. “Is that a promise?”

Her three eyes narrow. “Only for you, Blight.”

“Fine.” I allow Boscha to step away from me. “One more thing, though. I’d like to talk to you.  _ Alone. _ ” I survey the slightly smaller crowd. Most of them left with Willow, but a few stuck around to watch her heroic rescuer. “If word of this gets out to anyone else, I’ll end you,” I threaten them. A few of them back cautiously away and turn, sprinting, in the other direction..

“Let’s go,” I tell Boscha. She protests for a moment, but I grip her by the wrist and march her into a silent, closed off hallway not too far from where our lockers are. When I stop her, she stares down at me with enough malice in her eyes to scare a Snaggleback. 

“Before you get all ragey,” I begin, “this is about Grudgby.”

Boscha’s face falls. “You’re not letting me be captain, are you?”

“Actually, I am.”

“As I expected. But… Why are you telling me this now? Are you trying to get me back on your good side? Are you  _ scared  _ of what I’ll do to you now that I’ve seen you defend Half-a-Witch Willow from  _ me?”  _

Yes. ”No. I’m here to tell you that I’m quitting.”

“Well, duh, you can’t be captain anymore.”

“I’m not talking about the captain position,” I say exasperatedly. “I’m quitting the whole team. I’m done with Grudgby. I’ve had enough.”

There’s a second of horrible silence.

“No way,” Boscha replies after a moment, taking a step back. Does she think she’ll catch my bullcrap allergy?

“Yes way.” I’m not in the mood to discuss it further. “Have fun. Now if you don’t mind, I’m going to go get around for class. I have a grade to bring up.”

“Don’t think we’re not going to talk about this later!” Boscha yells as I whirl around. I pretend I’m already out of earshot.

As if the morning couldn’t get any worse, I feel a familiar presence at my back as I’m rummaging through my locker to find my enchanting copy of  _ Boiling Isles History Volume 87  _ for first-period history, which, by the way, is probably the worst idea ever created by anyone ever _. _ “What do you want, Luz?” I ask, refusing to turn around.

Luz taps me on the shoulder. “Amity! C’mon, look at me! You know what you did!”

I give in and face her, clutching my book to my chest as an anchor. Not that I’m nervous. Why would I be nervous? Luz is… annoying. And adorable, and talented, and funny, but mostly just annoying. Talking to annoying people is  _ never  _ nerve wracking.

“Is this about Willow?”

“Sure is.” Luz’s brown eyes are wide and there’s a telltale smile on her lips. “It was very heroic of you to rescue her. I really like this side of you. Maybe you should show everyone more of it.”

My cheeks feel hot. Oh boy. Oh no, I hope I’m not blushing, because if I am, that would be the end of me. “Well, thanks?” I don’t want to utter a word about how breathtaking she looks in her new uniform, because suddenly, that’s all I can think about. The colors compliment her so well, and the shape of the fabric fits her delicate frame so nicely… 

“Good talk, Amity,” Luz says enthusiastically. “I’ll see you later! Have a nice day!”

“Bye,” I murmur as she slips away.

That girl’s going to be the death of me.

What absurd behavior for a Blight.


	2. what? it’s totally platonic

_ You’re invited! _

_ Boscha’s Fifteenth Birthday Sleepover Extraordinaire _

_ July 20th 4:30 P.M _

_ Blight Mansion, Bonesbourough 81920 _

_ Bring snacks and plenty of presents! _

_ Since this will be a very formal affair, you may bring a plus one. NO HUMANS! _

_ See you there, Boscha xoxo _

There are so many things wrong with the pink piece of cardstock paper that lands on my desk just before history begins that I don’t even have time to comprehend it all. I just sit there and sputter about the unfairness of it all while Boscha stands over me, grinning like a gargoyle.

“Well?” she asks lightly. “Wonderful composition, is it not? I used the most expensive paper I could find. And I worked  _ hard _ to get the glitter glue just right.”

I sweep my desk with one arm and the sparkly pink invitation falls to the floor. “I’m not going.”

Boscha looks taken aback, nearly as much so as when I stood up for Willow two weeks ago. “What?”

“You heard me.” I cross my arms and turn my face away. “I’m not going.”

“It’s at  _ your _ house.”

“Which is one of the things wrong with it!” I reply. “You can’t just hold a party at someone else’s house without permission.” Why are we having this conversation? This is so stupid.

Boscha takes one strand of pink hair in her fingers and twirls it around. “Unless I doooo,” she gloats in an annoyingly sing-songy voice. “I  _ am  _ very close to your parents, after all.”

My face heats up and I grip the corner of the desk tightly. “You didn’t.”

“I did,” she chirps. “I asked them if we could hold my party at your house since  _ mine  _ is in  _ desperate  _ need of cleaning and we don’t have nearly enough time to finish it all before this afternoon.”

“Can’t you just use a sp-”

“You definitely don’t have any plans tonight, right?”

This girl has some nerve, interrupting me like that. Before I stood up to her, she never would have acted like this. And now here she is, acting like  _ I’m  _ her inferior? Me? Inferior? Ha, try again. “Well,” I snort, “I did have a very important meeting with Luz at the library tonight, but I suppose nothing can get in the way of your…  _ extravagant party. _ ”

“You’re right!” My former friend squeals in excitement. “Oh, it’s going to be wonderful. Who are you going to bring?”

“Probably no one,” I say nonchalantly.

“That’s too bad.” She picks up the invitation from the ground and taps one line of it with one perfectly manicured finger. “Maybe you’ll find someone. And remember, no humans allowed!”

“Please. Luz would hate your parties.”

“I never said anything about Luz.” Boscha’s voice drops, and she lowers her hands onto her knees so she’s kneeling at eye level with me. “But I  _ did  _ talk to your parents,” she says quietly “I know why you’ve gone so soft, Amity, and so do they. You’re falling for the human. It’s so incredibly obvious to everyone that you can barely form a coherent sentence around her. And let's just say that in the case of your feelings for a  _ human girl, _ two negatives do  _ not  _ make a positive. So you need to watch out. You’re practically already sitting on the Emporer’s throne. Make sure you don’t fall off.”

“What-”

“Anyway, have a good Friday!” she finishes cheerfully. She stands up and gives me a quick wave, then struts out of the classroom like she owns the whole school.

Maybe she does. It certainly doesn’t feel like I do anymore.

~

I find Luz as quickly as possible the second the tenth period bell screams. She’s standing at her locker just as I thought she would be, and before she hears me approaching, she’s humming a song under her breath and swaying slightly along. It’s the cutest thing- and I mean that  _ completely platonically-  _ I’ve ever seen, and I hate to interrupt her, but I really need her help. I feel awful for asking such a huge favor, but there’s only one way I can think of to win this battle against Boscha and my parents.

“Luz, I need your help.”

Luz freezes when she hears my voice. After stuffing one more book into her locker’s mouth, she whirls to face me. “Amity! She exclaims. “What is up!” She eyes me up and down for a moment before her eyes widen in a realization. “Oh my gosh, do you want me to carry you home again? Of course! Consider yourself scooped!”

I tighten my grip on my crutch. “Uh… no.” Luz looks slightly crestfallen, so I add on quickly. “But maybe another time. I actually need you to, uh…” I trail off. Has her hair always looked that soft? For a brief moment I picture myself tenderly pushing a stray lock of it behind her ear, and seeing a soft smile spread across her face at the touch… 

“You need me to what?” Luz prompts.

“Oh. Of course.”  _ Stay awake, Blight! _ “I need you to go to a party with me. Tonight.”

“Okay.” Luz blinks. “Who’s?”

I wince. She’s not going to like what she hears. “Boscha’s.”

“Really?” To my surprise, Luz doesn’t seem annoyed or repulsed by my request, merely surprised. “I thought you weren’t friends anymore.”

“We’re not. But…” I launch into an explanation about my parents’ suspicions about her and about my slipping Abominations grade and how my dad yelled at me and then how Boscha told me she’d planned her birthday party at my house and how I suspected it was all a plee to get me to stop hanging around Luz for good… 

“Ouch,” Luz says when I finish. “I knew your family and friends hated me, but. Yikes. Not gonna pretend that doesn’t sting.”

A huge ball of guilt kablams me right between the eyes. “They’re not my friends. They mean nothing to me compared to you.  _ You’re  _ my best friend now, I- I don’t know where I’d be without you.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Really.”

“Wow. You really are sappy.” Luz presses herself against my side, giving me a sharp nudge in the hip with her elbow. “Never would have guessed it, but it’s the Amity I’ve come to know and love..”

“I-” It feels like someone is stepping on my windpipe. I can’t get any words out. Luz…  _ loves  _ me? Or at least this side of me? That’s… that’s crazy. She meant as a friend, of course, she had to, but… still. That’s all I want anyway. If she thought of me as anything  _ other  _ than a friend, that would be totally weird, wouldn’t it? Because I don’t ever think of  _ her  _ that way… 

“Amity? Amity! Earth to Amity!”

Luz’s hand frantically waving in front of my face steals my attention back into the present. Had I zoned out again? Emperor, help me… 

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” I shake my head to clear it from the thoughts I definitely wasn’t supposed to be having. 

“Are you sure? Your face is totally red. You aren’t getting sick or anything, are you?”

“I’m not sick. I’m fine.” I hoist all my books back into the arm I can still use. It felt like they were about to fall. I’m not dropping my books in front of Luz; I might die from embarrassment.

Luz is watching me sympathetically. “If you say so. Are you sure you’re feeling up the party?”

“Not alone,” I sigh. 

“Then that settles it. I’m going with you.” She flashes me with a blindingly white smile that nearly makes me faint. “And we’ll prove to your parents once and for all that I’m totally awesome and actually completely magical!”

“You’re more than magical,” I murmur under my breath.

“What was that?”

“Nothing. Let’s go.”

~

I spend the next two hours doing nothing but gushing to Luz about how amazing and helpful she is and how absolutely lucky I am to know her and how selfless it was for her to come and help get everything ready for the party that isn’t even hers (“It’s not yours, either,” she reminds me, and I don’t have a counter argument for that, except maybe some embarrassed sputtering). Her help is especially valuable since my stupid foot is making it a lot harder to do any actual work myself. Not that I’d be able to focus on productivity- Luz’s platonically enchanting presence is stealing my entire attention span. The way she talks, the way she looks at me, even the way she  _ sweeps the floor…  _ is there anything she does that isn’t adorable?

It’s 4:15 when I ask her if she’s nervous. We’re sitting on the couch in the living room (one of the living rooms, anyway) and we’re so close our shoulders are brushing, despite the fact that the couch is like ten feet long and she could totally sit anywhere she wanted but nope, she’s sitting next to me, but not just next to me, actually  _ touching _ me, and I think for a moment about how easy it would be to rest my head on her shoulder-

“Nah,” she replies. “I can take ‘em.”

“Take what?” I ask dazedly, only half in reality.

Luz giggles, which is a sound that makes me want to get up, run into my room, and scream a song by Ghoul in Red with the door slammed shut. “You’re so distracted today,” she comments. “What’s on your mind?”

“You,” I blurt. Crap. “I mean. How helpful you’ve been. I wish there was a way to repay you.”

“Aww! Lucky for you,” Luz says dramatically, “there is!”

_ Please say with a kiss please say with a kiss please say with a- _

“By just being here with me and being the best best friend in the world!”

_ Gosh dang it. _

I swallow the lump in my throat. I’m not sure why that’s there. Why would Luz’s admittance of unyielding friendship possibly make me upset? Trick question! There’s no reason!

Luckily, the doorbell rings, so I don’t have a chance to say anything that might give away how I’m feeling. “I’ll get it,” I volunteer. “Um- it’s probably the pizza guy. Could you go into the kitchen and get the sodas out of the fridge?”

“Sure thing,” Luz replies cheerfully.  _ She’s so sweet. _ “Just one thing. How do I … get to the kitchen?”

“Oh right. Giant mansion, forgot about that. Uh… go the right, then take a right, down that hallway, left, third double door to the right, first door on the left.”

“I will not remember any of that,” Luz says. “But thanks!”

I’d offer to repeat the directions, but Luz has already darted off. To the left. Great. I’ll have to find her and rescue her right after I’ve dealt with the pizza guy…

I open the front door, and it’s not the pizza guy. Well, it is the pizza guy, but it’s just  _ just  _ the pizza guy. Boscha and Skara are there, too. The pizza guy looks a little nervous, and Boscha has her I’m-going-to-kill-someone smirk on her face. 

“Heyyyy, Ami,” Boscha drawls. “Thanks  _ so much _ for offering to host my party tonight. It’s  _ so  _ selfless of you.”

I take the pizzas, balance them precariously in one hand and wave the pizza guy away. “It was your decision, Boscha. I don’t actually want you here.”

“But I have to keep an eye on you anyway.”

“Is it just you two coming?”

“Sure is. I invited a couple others, but… they didn’t make it.”

A funny feeling in my gut told me that “the ones who couldn’t make it” hadn’t been invited at all. 

Boscha brushes past me into the living room. Skara follows her close behind. I hobble after both of them silently, wondering how I’m going to wrangle Luz and explain what was going on. I can’t hide her from the other two forever, and I know they’re not going to react well to their least favorite human showing up to their party after explicit instruction to stay away, I just hope I can give Luz enough forewarning to handle the situation correctly.

Someone yells from the living room. “What’s  _ she  _ doing here?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM GOING TO WRITE THE ENTIRE LAST CHAPTER BEFORE TONIGHT IF IT KILLS ME  
> i just want to finish it before the finale comes out and we all lose our collective shits


	3. rewind, induce amnesia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I DID IT

_ No… Luz! _

I rush- well, being one-legged, I use the word  _ rush  _ loosely, but you know- into the living room. Luz is seated on the couch, a few two-liters of soda piled onto the crystalline coffee table. Boscha and Skara stand in front of her and they’re bristling like a couple of angry cats. Luz looks strangely calm, which is weird because my heart can’t stop pounding, and my instincts are screaming at me to get her out of here. 

“Oh, it’s you two,” Luz says. “I know you’re probably not too happy to see me, but remember that I could take you in Grudgby anytime.”

“Yeah?” Boscha snaps. “Well, your other two teammates are either injured or missing, so have fun with that.”

“Get away from her!” I screech.

The room falls silent. Boscha and Skara turn their attention away from Luz and swivel to face me. “Should’ve known,” mutters Skara. “Stupid soft Amity breaking the rules.”

“The rules of  _ my  _ party.” Boscha advances on me slowly. “What do you say, Blight? One-on-two match? Loser has to leave with her stupid little human pet?”

“It may be your party, but it’s my house, and I can have whatever company I want, thanks,” I shoot back.

I spare a glance back at Luz, and she’s still staring at me with her adorable chocolate eyes. I look away before I can start blushing. “Let’s just go upstairs and have fun. You know, like we’re supposed to do? At a party? Arguing isn’t going to help anybody.”

Boscha looks like she’s about to protest, but something in her face changes. It looks almost… devious, and to be totally honest, it scares me. She’s going to agree, but she’s definitely up to something. If she does something to Luz, I’ll… I’ll flay her from here to Hexside.

“Maybe we should, actually.” Boscha’s voice is silky smooth, and my suspicion shoots through the roof. “This is a  _ party. _ What better time than that to get to know Amity’s… newest friend?” She flashes a glance sharper than flint at Luz, who looks a little confused but otherwise none the wiser.

“Okay,” Luz agrees.

As the other two girls make their way to my room in the farthest corner of the mansion, I hang back with Luz and lean down to whisper in her ear. “Boscha’s up to something,” I hiss. “Watch out. I’m not sure what she’s trying to do, but…”

Luz nods. “It’ll be okay,” she whispers. She put her hand over my own- the one that’s holding my crutch- and traces her thumb reassurungly over my knuckles. It takes all my strength to not pass out.

_ Perfect  _ is not getting flustered at physical contact with a human girl.

_ Perfect  _ is not having these feelings for a human girl at all.

_ Perfect  _ is not what I am.

I don’t want to admit it. I want to work hard and live up to the expectations that my parents and peers have set for me. I’ve tried so hard so far. But now I’m tripping up.

I’m not the perfect girl they thought I was.

I’m going to have to live with that.

And I suppose that starts right here, right now, safe in the walls of my own bedroom, surrounded by two people I may have once considered friends and by one person I consider more.

Boscha is the first person in my room, so she sprawls herself across my bed like it’s never been anyone else’s. Skara, who’s holding the pizza in one hand and bottles of soda in the other, sits at my desk, so I claim my windowsill, and so does Luz. It feels comforting to have her pressed up against me again. It makes me feel confident that whatever the other two are planning we can overcome together.

Luz’s voice whispers in my mind.  _ Repeat after me. We can fix this together. _

We  _ can  _ fix this together.

“Since this is my party, I think I’ll decide what we do first,” Boscha says from her incredibly comfortable looking spot on  _ my _ bed. It shouldn’t be her there. It should be me… and maybe Luz… wrapped up in my arms… not a care in the world. Maybe I’d card my fingers gently through her hair and then she’d fall asleep on me to the rhythm of my heartbeat… 

“Amity! I said, how many pillows do you think you have?”

“Oh!” I jolt myself back to the present. Had I zoned out… again? I really need to do something about that. I can still feel the warmth of Luz’s body next to mine. She’s not going anywhere. I don’t need to zone out while she’s still here, looking absolutely gorgeous bathed in dusk sunlight.

“Amity!”

“Right.” I point stiffly to my closet. “Try there.” What does she need pillows for? Is she going to smother Luz to death with feathers?

Boscha grins. “Pillow fight first. Then dinner.”

Next to me, I can see that Luz lights up at the mention of a pillow fight. “You do those with the humans?” I murmur.

Luz nods. “With my parents. Most kids did it with their friends, but… I didn’t really have any.” She must be able to see the devastation written across my face, because she corrects herself quickly. “Not that I minded. Being alone was kind of nice sometimes. Besides, I’ve got lots of amazing friends here.” She slings an arm around my shoulder. “Especially you!”

“Yeah, I think we went over this already,” I mutter.  _ If I have to hear about friendship one more time… _

“Where are your parents?” Luz asks abruptly. “And the twins? I’m surprised they haven’t come up here to be buttholes to you yet.”

I shake my head. “My dad won’t bother us tonight.”

“That’s not what I asked.”

“Whatever. The twins are at an extracurricular school thing and I’m not sure where my parents are. They won’t be back until Sunday at least, though. They always have  _ lots  _ of  _ important trips _ to go on.” I let the words  _ important trips _ sound sour.

“Someday you’ll be an important witch just like them, and you’ll be going on lots of fancy trips too.”

“I’ll never be anything like them,” I reply bitterly. “I’ll be high-ranking, for sure. But I’m going to use that to help my family. Not stress them out so much that they feel like the smallest misstep could, like… invoke my wrath or something.” I don’t like saying all of this in front of Boscha and Skara, but they’re too busy snooping through my walk-in closet to be paying any attention.

“Oh, Amity.” Luz’s gaze clouds with sorrow. “Is that what it feels like? I’m so sorry. That sounds awful. I literally cannot vocalize at the moment how bad I feel for you.”

“It’s not my ideal situation.”

“I wish I could help you.”

There are a million flirtatious, cheesy things I could say right now.  _ Kiss me  _ or  _ be my girlfriend _ or whatever. But given the circumstances, given the uncertainy of what could happen to us tonight, or tomorrow, or the day after… “Just… be here for me. Stay with me. Please?”

“Anything.”

Her arm is still around me, so I decide to make a bold move and rest my head slightly against hers. She doesn’t respond, but she doesn’t pull away, so I assume I’m not being too weird.

“Thank you.”

Then a pillow slaps me across the face. 

Way to ruin the moment. “BOSCHA,” I yell. It takes me a moment to struggle to my feet, but once I’ve got the offending pillow in my fist, I sling it back to her, and she shrieks at the impact. “Don’t forget that I was Grudgby captain too!”

“How could I ever,” Boscha hisses. She chucks the pillow back at me, but Luz intercepts her, taking the blow to her chest.

“I’LL DEFEND YOUR HONOR, AMITY!” Luz exclaims.

“Luz…” I groan.

“You told me to be there for you so I am!” Luz calls back, spreading her arms and letting Boscha and Skara’s fury flood her in the form of pillow after pillow. I suppose it’s not exactly violent assault, but it still makes me feel bad. If it weren’t for my stupid leg, I’d probably be the one defending her.

But then again, if it weren’t for my leg, I’d never know how nice it felt to be carried in her surprisingly strong arms, so I guess it’s a win/lose situation.

“You’re an idiot!” I tell her.

Luz throws a smirk over her shoulder. “ _ Your  _ idiot.”

I might have joined in (or at least tried to) but that little comment drains all the energy out of my body.

The fight goes on for a while, and I may be imagining it, but it seems to be taking a turn for the more good-humored. Once my worry for Luz is under control- I’m sure she can defend herself against some  _ pillows- _ I sit back down on the windowsill and watch Luz and my former friends laugh and chase each other around. It’s very strange to see them getting along. Is it possible that Boscha never did have an ulterior motive?

No. I should still watch out for Luz. And for myself.

Eventually everyone tires out (Luz still has an abundence of energy, somehow, but with nobody to fight she decided to not bother) and they settle back down in the spots-that-are-not-theirs that they have decided suddenly belong to them. I even ask Boscha for my bed back, but naturally, she refuses. Then it’s dinnertime; the pizza and drinks are ceremoniously passed around like priceless magical artifacts. Luz yells a loud “SCREW YOU, LACTOSE INTOLERANCE,” before scarfing down her first of three pieces.

Once that’s all over, the sun has gone down and moonlight is streaming in through my open window. Luz is leaning against me and she looks about ready to drift off, and I haven’t heard a peep out of the other two for a while. I’m not sure if they’re actually asleep, but if Luz falls asleep, so will I eventually, and I don’t want us both sleeping in the same room as the girl who followed Luz and her friends aroud for an  _ entire day  _ just to torture them. It just doesn’t seem logical.

“Hey,” I whisper, nudging her awake. “Do you know, um... “ I rack my brain for  _ stereotypical sleepover activites. _ “Do you know how to braid hair?”

“Yeah.” Luz yawns. “Why?”

I move one hand up tenatively to touch my own teal locks and imagine Luz’s fingers gliding through them instead of mine. The idea makes my chest tingle. “Do you think you could braid mine?”

Luz shrugs. “Sure thing. Just turn around… yeah, there you go. Okay.” She magically fishes a hairband out of the pockets of her shorts and begins to seperate my hair into sections. Goosebumps rise along my neck. I’m surprised I’m not combusting from this much contact from Luz, but somehow I’m still in one piece.

Luz works for so long that I lose track of time. Eventually it’s hard to keep my eyes open.  _ Just a moment, _ I think when I feel my eyelids falling shut.  _ For just a moment, I can be imperfect. _

~

“Do you like it?”

I blink my eyes open. It’s hard to see in the dark, but when I lift my hand to my hair I can feel it neatly braided on either side of my head. Luz did wonderfully. I never want to take it out.

“It’s-”

Her eyes meet mine.

A swell of emotion rises inside me, and every nerve in my body beins to tingle. Even in the moonlight I can see the dark depths of her eyes, still feel the softness of her touch on my scalp. I care for this girl so much. I care for her something fierce, something beyond friendship. I’ll never stop caring about her this way, but I couldn’t have picked anyone else I’d rather have this many feelings for.

“It’s perfect,” I say, and then I kiss her.

It doesn’t register until after it’s over that she kissed me back just as fervently.

“Amity,” Luz says softly. She’s still cupping my chin with her fingers.

I shut my eyes. “I’m sorry, Luz.”

“No.” Luz’s whisper is suddenly panicked. “Amity, look.”

I look.

There’s a face in my window.

No, not a face- a reflection. But it’s not me. It’s not Luz. It’s a reflection of a screen. A reflection of a very familiar photo.

_ Boscha. _

The overhead light switches on. Boscha stands behind me, and she’s holding her scroll. Her eyes gleam with triumph. “I knew it!” she laughed. “I knew you were head over heels for the human!”

I make a grab for the scroll, but she dodges me. “Not so fast,” she purrs. “Don’t you want to see who I’ve pulled up before you try to take that?” She lowers the scroll closer to my face. “One click and I could destroy you.”

“Calling my father?” I snap. “That’s a coward’s move.”

“Cowardly, maybe. But still effective.”

“Boscha, give it here,” Luz warns. “Don’t put Amity through this. She suffers enough from her father as it is.”

“Precisely why I did what I did,” Boscha replies. “The only way to get you away from her was to threaten her with the person who’s hurt her most. Who better to convice her of who her  _ real _ companions are?”

Luz gasps. “That’s just cruel!”

“Luz, let’s go.” I tug on Luz’s arm, but I can barely feel any of my muscles moving. All my senses are in overdrive. Panic from Boscha, grogginess of nearly falling asleep, and the tingle in my lips from the kiss… I don’t know which to focus on. “We need to go.”

“Where?”

“Outside. I just need to be with you right now. Please?” I turn my best pleading stare on her. “It would make me feel better.”

“Of course, then,” she murmurs. “Anything.”

“Thanks for the party.” I give Boscha a quick nod as we head out the door. “But you’re right. It’s yours, not mine. So I should go. Have fun!”

Boscha probably intends to let loose another sharp jab, but I slam the door in her face before she can say anything.

Luz and I decide to sit down on the front porch. We can see so many stars from here. Each one is beautiful, but none of them hold a candle to the girl sitting next to me. I don’t know if Luz likes me back or not. I guess it doesn’t really matter, because I know she’ll always stand up for me no matter what I feel for her.

“What are you going to do about your dad?” Luz asks softly.

I shrug. “Nothing for now, I guess. I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it.”

“You won’t be crossing it alone,” Luz replies, squeezing my hand. She laces our fingers together.

“I won’t?”

“Never. I’d never abandon you.”

“So... you don’t think I’m creepy?”

“You dummy. I like you too.”

“You do?”

“Stop asking so many questions,” Luz laughs, “and let me kiss you again.”

As the stars shone down on us that night, I felt something in my mind shift. Maybe perfection isn’t what I’ve been force-fed my whole life- a flawless appearance, perfect grades, and normal preferences. 

Maybe it’s this.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> i’m going to try to finish this by sunday :D
> 
> comments and kudos are appreciated and make my day as always


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